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Maureen
May. 25th, 2008
11:36 pm - got no use for a red rocking chair
When I was in high school in creative writing class, my teacher showed us this list that he said we should be able to complete for every character we wrote.
To truly write a person, we should be able to know:
1) A secret
2) A habit
3) A fear
4) A guilty pleasure
5) Two seemingly contradictory qualities
6) One thing they would never do
7) Occupation dreamed of
8) Actual occupation
9) A regret
I wonder how many of these I can fill out for people I know? Although that is harder to know than fictional people who are all contained in one's head.
Mar. 3rd, 2008
11:35 pm - I haven't written anything in here in 24 weeks.
I am voting for Hillary Clinton tomorrow (I think I am obligated to write 'ask me why?' here)
I think I am slowly going crazy.
I just might call my thesis "Half Assing the Revolution: Reforms of the ties that bind"
Sep. 17th, 2007
12:37 pm
There are people who have read the Lun Yu without having anything happen to them. There are others who are happy after having understood a sentence or two. There are still others who, having read the book, love it. And there are those who, having read it, unconsciously dance with their hands and feet." (Zhu Xi)
Iraq
I beheld the earth, and, lo, it was without form, and void; and the heavens, and they had no light.
I beheld the mountains, and, lo, they trembled, and all the hills moved lightly.
I beheld, and, lo, there was no man, and all the birds of the heavens were fled.
I beheld, and, lo, the fruitful place was a wilderness, and all the cities thereof were broken down at the presence of the Lord, and by his fierce anger.
For thus hath the Lord said, The whole land shall be desolate; yet will I not make a full end.
For this shall the earth mourn, and the heavens above be black: because I have spoken it, I have purposed it, and will not repent, neither will I turn back from it.
-Jeremiah 4:23-28
Looking obliquely at the edges of things, where they come together with other things, can tell you as much about them, often, as can looking at them directly, intently, straight on.
-Clifford Geertz, "The Near East in the Far East"
Aug. 28th, 2007
01:31 am - This summarizes EXACTLY how I feel about T-Pain. And life.
"I don’t know much about this T-Pain fellow so I’ve decided to create a creation myth for him in keeping with the rinky-dink artificial grandeur of his music. T-Pain was once a garden-variety rapper with a career steadily going nowhere. Then one day he happened upon mentor Akon’s voice emanating from a burning bush. This ghostly, vaguely robotic voice led T-Pain to a golden Vocoder, a magical synthesizer and a pixie-dust-coated drum machine.
Like Moses, T-Pain was now a man with a divine mission: he was to make ridiculously infectious R&B anthems encouraging women to get drunk and have sex with him. And he was to abuse and torment the English language as much as humanly possible, especially in his song titles. Accordingly T-Pain’s latest, the aptly named Epiphany is a veritable concept album about the intertwined pleasures of alcohol abuse and casual sex with rappers ternt sangas. “Let’s get drunk and forget what we did” isn’t just a lyric from “Buy U A Drank (Shawty Snappin’)”: it’s T-Pain’s mission statement. I was slow to warm up to “Buy U A Drank” but I know consider it the greatest song ever written, if not the crowning achievement of Western civilization.
”Tipsy” offers a minor variation on “Buy U A Drank”’s timeless message: this time T-Pain merely wants to get anonymous skanks tipsy enough to have sex with him. Switching gears completely, “Bartender” finds T-Pain and mentor/music god Akon trying to get the woman who serves them drinks to have drunken casual sex with them.
But there’s far more to T-Pain than drunkenly soliciting sex. On the epochal “Yo Stomach” Tallahassee’s gift to ridiculously synthetic R&B fearlessly eschews leering at T&A and revolutionarily fetishizes stomachs on a song that aims to do for six packs what “Baby Got Back” did for the gluteus maximus. At his most achingly poetic T-Pain croons “Ain’t nothing more groovy/Then when that stomach’s movin’, yea/It’s the reason I’m singing this song/Because I ain’t got nothing else to bust a nut on”. T-Pain then croons “Oooh, oh, ohhh oooh Whoa whoa whoa” for emphasis. Profounder words have seldom been crooned through a vocoder. Technically, T-Pain uses Auto-Tune software instead of a Vocoder but I’m going to keep on pretending that he uses a Vocoder cause they’re awesome and Auto-Tune software just sounds kinda sad and lame.
Incidentally, I think everyone should use a Vocoder at all times. How awesome would that be? Wouldn’t a trip to your accountant be a whole lot more exciting if they spoke like some kind of freaky R&B robot?
“I’m N’ Luv (With A Stripper)” set the template for T-Pain’s career. He’s a hopeless romantic masquerading as an incorrigible horndog or an incorrigible horndog masquerading as a hopeless romantic. I can’t quite decide which. So his songs about wanting to get women drunk so they’ll have sex with him are incongruously pretty, sweet, romantic and even a little sad.
It’s not art but then T-Pain’s wonderfully synthetic brand of plastic soul is all about living in the moment. And drunken sex. Long may his Vocoder reign"
-Nathan Rabin, AV Club blog
Aug. 25th, 2007
01:31 am
"When shit brings you down, just say 'fuck it' and eat yourself some motherfucking candy." ~David Sedaris
Senior year starts ... now!
So it goes.
Aug. 20th, 2007
08:45 pm
Life is just so much easier to face when you are (finally) wearing a bra that actually fits you.
Same goes for jeans.
Aug. 11th, 2007
11:46 pm - the lyrics stuck in my head right now are "i make it rain on them hoes" which really explains a lot
In 15 days, I am supposed to have a topic for my senior Independent Study.
At the moment, I have abandoned what I thought I was going to do it on because it doesn't really relate to my major, what I spent last semester studying is not applicable to this type of thesis, and at the moment, I'm so in my head about trying to have a topic that's original and innovative and impressive (not to mention something that is a doable one year project and not my usual overstretching) that I can't think clearly about questions or ideas that I am actually interested in.
I really don't want to bullshit this, I want to do it for real.
Help?
Jul. 21st, 2007
03:55 pm
You can say all you want about J.K. Rowling, but that bitch can write a climax like no one else.
Jul. 16th, 2007
10:39 pm - If any of these are true, you all owe me $5
Predictions for Harry Potter:
Snape turns out to be really just a teenage boy who needed to butch up and get over himself, but instead turned evil.
Sirius comes back from the dead.
Dumbledore turns out to have been rooting for Voldemort the whole time.
All nine of the Weasley's survive, unscathed.
Neville takes out Voldemort instead of Harry.
Harry and Luna hook up. It's hot. It's not her first time. He finally learns what a knargle is.
Harry trips down some stairs and breaks his neck, Voldemort wins by default, and J.K.Rowling starts her new series (much acclaimed by critics, but somehow failing to find the wide audience of HP), the first title of which is "Lord Voldemort and the Global Empire of Evil"
Jun. 28th, 2007
11:27 pm - statements I emphasize with:
I worry sometimes that when Jesus hears some of my thoughts, he starts drinking himself to sleep.
-anne lamott
Jun. 18th, 2007
09:16 pm - the closest thing to god that i have heard, is when i knew i did not have the final word
1. I'm really tired. I've been tired for two weeks. I'll probably be tired for six more.
2. Working at swanky big law firm vs. broke liberal non-profit:
well, the people at Finnegan Henderson are not pretending to be busy and important, they actually are. I have work to do pretty much all the time (except today, which sucked). The name looks really, really good on a resume. Free gym and leftovers, cheap in-house cafeteria, the comfort of knowing that I am protecting the man from copyright infringement.
Downside? There was never really any sexual harrassment at PFAW. At the law firm it's hard to decide who is worse- the young guys in the copy room or the middle aged partners.
3. The last word on interesting from a story by Abigail Thomas, courtesy of Anne Lamott:
My mother's first criterion for a man is that he be interesting. What this really means is that he be able to appreciate my mother, whose jokes hinge on some grammatical subtlety or a working knowledge of higher mathematics. You get the picture. Robbie is about as interesting as a pair of red high-top Converse sneakers. But Robbie points to the mattress on the floor. He grins, slowly unbuckling his belt, drops his jeans. "Lie down," says Robbie.
This is interesting enough for me.
4. Speaking of which, never read a book that is the "reminiscent of Anne Lamott" while you are also reading a book by Anne Lamott. It doesn't go well for the reminiscent book.
5. I am less lonely here than I thought I would be, but I miss my people. The girls here are nice but I need someone to be nerdy with.
6. I am in this really good place where critics feel the exact same way that I do about everything. Think Knocked Up is hilarious and poignant? Wish Timbaland would stop pretending to say anything and just continue to make the beats? Did the last episode of Lost fucking kick your ass sideways and leave you Damon Lindelof's bitch, again? ME TOO.
7. It's June and I'm already behind on my IS.
8. I think I'm beginning to become addicted to Whole Foods.
Jun. 7th, 2007
09:03 pm
Okay ya'll, I enjoy a good celebrity-hate-on as much as the next girl, but here's the thing- Paris Hilton didn't get released from jail because she's famous, she got released cause she's crazy. Two days without eating or sleeping?
Look, Paris Hilton seeks out fame despite having no discernable talent, and that's enough to make me not really respect her. But the other month, when people bought out her private storage area, and found all of her private stuff... a medical record with a falsified name for a miscarriage at age 17? Her making lists of ways to cope with her bulimia? Lists she and her sister made of all the random men they'd slept with? Pictures of her doing coke? The guy who deflowered her at age 13 or 14 or whatever giving interviews to US Weekly? Nick Carter beat the shit out of her, and the paparazzi took pictures of her bruises and it was front page of People. Hasn't she been engaged and then not like three or four times?
She's pretty, and she's rich, and that's cool if people want to hate on her for that, but the girl has been through being sexualized before she had her period, through abusive relationships, miscarriages, probably a few abortions, being regarded as stupid and worthless, being used and thrown away by people who want to be famous...
Whatever. Not like anyone asked me to defend her, and undoubtedly all these problems would be worse and things much more complicated if she wasn't rich and famous, but this whole "Paris is a stupid slut who deserves what she has coming" really bugs me.
Look, she was sexualized too young (who wasn't), treated like crap by some guys and some friends (who wasn't), thinks that being a worthwhile human being is all about that things that it's not (and who has that figured out?) built up by a media machine that now wants to condemn her (okay, that one's all her), and she engages in self destructive behaviors. It's hard for me to blame or judge her, because I am 20 years old now and I've read my Mary Wollstonecraft and S.C.U.M. and I'm trying to follow Jesus and besides I went to my therapy for my eating disorders, and some times with all that enlightenment, I still find myself blowing some guy who I don't even like because I think somehow it'll make me feel better.
So lay off Paris Hilton, society. Personal responsibility and all, this is a pretty common mess, and we should all start figuring out how to clean it up.
May. 17th, 2007
12:44 am - in a Place.
So much on my mind that I can't recline
Blastin' holes in the night 'til she bled sunshine
Breathe in, inhale vapors from bright stars that shine
Breathe out, weed smoke retrace the skyline
Heard the bass ride out like an ancient mating call
I can't take it, y'all, I can feel the city breathin'
Chest heavin', against the flesh of the evening
Sigh before we die like the last train leaving -mos def
My little brother and I do this thing where we make up super lame rhymes/beats off of each others nick names. This can go on for literally hours at a time. Tonight it was only cut off because of Lost. We watched it with ice cream and our dogs that crashed the coach and started snoring. I really miss him when I'm gone.
May. 7th, 2007
06:18 pm - holy god this bitch can write. And we might be the same person.
All my life, one person or another has been telling me to behave, saying don't let a guy know you are a depressed maniac on the first date, don't just be yourself, don't show your feelings.
And the truth is, this is probably good advice. Men probably don't like overbearing, hotheaded women who give blow jobs on the first date. In all likelihood the only man who will ever like me just as I am will need to believe I am someone else at first. I probably do need to learn how to behave.
But I don't like it. It seems like, after all these years of feminism, Mary Wollstonecraft, Charlotte Perkins Gilman, Simone de Beauvoir, Virginia Woolf, Gloria Steinem, Susan Faludi- all that smart writing all so we could learn to behave? Bra burning in Atlantic City- so we could learn to behave? Roe v. Wade- so we could learn to behave? The gender gap- so we could learn to behave? Madonna, Sally Ride, Jocelyn Elders, Golda Meir, Anita Hill, Bette Davis, Leni Riefenstahl- all those strong indefatigable souls so we could learn how to behave? What good really have any of those things done if we still get the feeling that we have to contain our urges and control ourselves in the interest of courtship and love? Did Germaine Greer importune us so long ago with the words "Lady, love your cunt" and did Anka Radikovich regale us with her tales of the sexual picaresque in The Wild Girls Club so we could be told never to succumb to sexual abandon on the first date? After all this agitation along comes The Rules to tell us that we're not even allowed to accept a date for a Saturday night after Wednesday.
Here's my point: I have no quarrel with The Rules or the advice it gives, but if we had really come a long way, baby, if men's perceptions of women had transformed fundamentally and intensely so that we were accepted as full-fledged sexual creatures and romantic operatives who were free to chase or be chased, and if this expanded dimension of women's sexual personae were not frightening or overwhelming to them, then we would not need The Rules. We would truly be free.
-Bitch by Elizabeth Wurtzel. Reading this book is like listening to my alter ego drunkenly ranting. It's fantastic.
May. 4th, 2007
04:40 pm
I just forgot my home phone number- I remembered 973, but then I couldn't remember what came after it.
The other day I started my home address wrong too, and had to sound it out loud before I wrote it.
I need to go home
Apr. 29th, 2007
10:10 pm - ptsd-tastic
Finished my paper, wrote some e-mails, cleaned my room, went running, took a shower, did my laundry, and I still feel like I am hemorraghing out and am moody as all get out, but it is beautiful outside and I still have my joy. 10 days. I don't want to leave.
It came to me as I listened that I didn't want to be anywhere else in the world at that moment, that what I was feeling at that moment justified all I had been through, because all I had been through was my being there. Conchis had spoken of meeting his future, of feeling his life balanced on a fulcrum when he first came to Bourani. I was experiencing what he meant; a new self-acceptance, a sense that I had to be this mind and this body, its vices and its virtures, and that I had no other chance or choice. It was an awareness of a new kind of potentiality, one very different from my old sense of the word, which had been based on the illusions of ambition. The mess of my life, the selfishnesses and false turnings and the treacheries, all these things could fall into place, they could become a source of construction rather than a source of chaos, and precisely because I had no other choice. It was certainly not a moment of new moral resolve, or anything like it. No doubt our accepting what we are must always inhibit our being what we ought to be; for all that, it felt like a step foward- and upward. He had finished, was watching me.
'You make words seem shabby things.' I said.
-the magus, john fowles. it's actually way baller.
Apr. 27th, 2007
03:45 pm - I guess if you are going to piss off The Man, you might as well go all out
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/65994
Polygamous Lesbians Flee Sharia
A Nigerian lesbian who "married" four women last weekend in Kano State has gone into hiding from the Islamic police, with her partners. Under Sharia law, adopted in the state seven years ago, homosexuality and same-sex marriages are outlawed and considered very serious offences. Lesbianism is also illegal under Nigeria's national penal code.
The BBC's Bala Ibrahim in Kano says Aunty Maiduguri and her four "wives" are thought to have gone into hiding the day after they married. All five women, who are believed to be film actresses in the local home-video industry, were born Muslims, otherwise they would not be covered by Sharia law.
Our correspondent says the theatre where the colourful wedding ceremony was held was flattened earlier this week. Several reasons were given for the demolition, including the discovery that it was built on wrongly allocated land. Eyewitnesses say there was a large turnout for the marriage and guests were given leaflets as a souvenir showing Aunty Maiduguri surrounded by her "brides".
Okay. Quick recap:
This is a country where sex before marriage is a punishable offense, where women are forced to wear certain amounts of clothing, etc. This woman performed her own marriage ceremony, in which she married four other women, that she advertised and held in a public theater.
What a world.
Apr. 14th, 2007
Apr. 10th, 2007
12:11 am - weird thoughts inspired by all the articles about the demise of the Sopranos.
Things that will end for me in the next two years:
College.
Being a teenager.
George W. Bush's Presidency.
The Harry Potter series.
Illegal drinking.
Gilmore Girls.
Living in Ohio.
Every current movie franchise I can think of (Pirates, Spiderman, etc.)
Living in my parent's house.
The 2008 Presidential campaigns.
Being young enough to have an excuse not knowing what the hell I am doing with my life.
Mar. 25th, 2007
02:18 am - I guess I'm giving up on him? I don't know what else to do or say.
That night I stay with Kurt at his house, and I actually call Elsie to tell her that I won't be coming back until morning. Her voice is careful, perhaps a little sad, but mostly she sounds relieved.
"Good night, dear," she says.
There are other things she could say to me, things I will never hear. I doubt that many mothers say these things to their daughters. Maybe it would be like telling your daughter the truth about the pain of childbirth. They try to protect us, even when we're middle aged. So I must supply the words for myself:
Life will break you. Nobody can protect you from that, and living alone won't either, for solitude will also break you with its yearning. You have to love. You have to feel. It is the reason you are here on earth. You are here to risk your heart. You are here to be swallowed up. And when it happens that you are broken, or betrayed, or left, or hurt, or death brushes near, let yourself sit by an apple tree and listen to the apples falling all around you in heaps, wasting their sweetness. Tell yourself that you tasted as many as you could.
-the painted drum, louise erdrich.
current:
"My Tears Dry On Their Own" Amy Winehouse
wonkette.com
best seminar class ever?
knowing an unhealthy amount about the prosecutor firings
hating school vouchers
The Magus, John Fowles
moving beyond tourist status
http://mundanefeelings.blogspot.com/
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